I’ve always known I never wanted to have children. A lot of people might speculate that there might be a deeper reason behind it, but the truth is, there isn’t. I know that I don’t have the patience or the grace needed to be a good Mother. The sort of patience and grace that my Mom possesses, and I believe a kid deserves nothing less than that.
So, when I met my partner back in 2017, I immediately laid everything out to him. I told him that this is the one thing that I will never ever compromise about. He doesn’t need to agree with me, I was ok ending the relationship in case he wanted to have kids. But he just felt the same way (of course, this is just a shortcut that is his own story to tell).
So, I went on birth control, gained weight, and developed other medical issues. I know I couldn’t be on birth control for a long time, but I didn’t have any other options at that time; I was in my early 20s, and every OB-GYN I went to didn’t take me seriously when I told them that I didn’t want to have kids.
“Bata ka pa mag babago pa isip mo.”
“Di mo alam sinasabi mo”
“Sige balikan mo ako pag-30 ka na mag usap tayo”
“Sira ba ulo mo?” – this is a real line I heard from a supposed professional. I even had someone say that being on birth control while I was unmarried was a sin (lol, so it was a sin to be a responsible adult? sorry if I don’t want to contribute to the ever-increasing birth rate of this country)
I heard it all. But as an eldest daughter (and as an Aries lol), I will literally not stop until I get what I want. And what I really wanted was the permanence of being child-free without relying on hormonal birth control: sterilization or getting my tubes “tied”.
I began researching it around 2019, and to be honest, there really isn’t that much information about it here in the Philippines. I learned that it was something you could get done overseas via medical tourism, but, of course, I hoped I could get it done locally. At that time, I really didn’t have the money for an international flight, let alone a whole-ass medical procedure. So I researched everything that I could learn about it.
Is having your tubes tied illegal in the Philippines?
No, it’s not. It is actually protected under the Responsible Parenthood and Reproductive Health Act of 2012 (RPRH Act). You can actually get one as long as you’re of legal age and there’s no medical basis for you not have one. But it’s hard to find a doctor or a hospital that would willingly do it if you don’t have at least one kid or if you’re not over 30.
I started going to different OB-GYNEs, asking them questions about tubal ligation. Some were happy to discuss it with me, some were not sure about it, and some just straight-up called me crazy.
But, I finally got it to happen. After years of researching and looking for the right OB-GYNE, I finally got my tubes tied.
I didn’t know freedom looked like a 2.5-inch scar and a 4-6 week recovery.